Perfectionism often wears a clever disguise.

It might look like “high standards,” “doing your best,” or “being responsible.” But underneath, perfectionism can lead to burnout, anxiety, procrastination, low self-worth, and never feeling “good enough.”

If you or your child struggle with perfectionism, the goal isn't to stop caring—but to care in a healthier way. Let’s talk about what perfectionism really is, how it hurts, and practical ways to loosen its grip.

What Is Perfectionism, Really?

Perfectionism isn’t about doing things well—it’s about believing that anything less than perfect is failure.

It often sounds like:

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  “If I don’t get an A, I’m a failure.”

  
  


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  “If I mess up, people will think I’m not smart.”

  
  


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  “I can’t start this until everything’s just right.”

  
  

Perfectionism can lead to:

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  Chronic procrastination

  
  


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  Fear of failure or judgment

  
  


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  Harsh self-criticism

  
  


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  Anxiety or depression

  
  


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  Avoidance of new or challenging situations

  
  

It’s often rooted in self-worth being tied to performance.

3 Healthy Ways to Work Through Perfectionism

1. Name the Perfectionist Voice

Start by noticing it. That inner critic may say:

“Don’t mess up.”
“You’re not trying hard enough.”
“They’ll see you don’t know what you’re doing.”

Naming it (“That’s my perfectionist talking”) helps create space between you and the thought.

2. Redefine Success

Instead of aiming for "perfect," aim for:

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  Progress over perfection

  
  


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  Effort over outcome

  
  


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  Learning over impressing

  
  

Ask:

“What would ‘good enough’ look like right now?”

3. Practice Imperfection (On Purpose!)

Try:

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  Sending an email with a small typo

  
  


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  Drawing something badly—on purpose

  
  


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  Sharing a draft that isn’t polished

  
  

Why? Because it retrains your brain to tolerate discomfort and see that the world doesn’t end.

Need Support for Perfectionism?

Whether you’re a student, parent, or professional, I help clients build confidence without burnout. Reach out to our therapist at Peaceful Horizons Counseling, LLC at 678-264-3988 or infopeacefulhorizons@therapysecure.com to learn more about how therapy can help you move past perfectionism.